To the future child that will bless my life:

I was cleaning out my storage on my laptop today, and I came across an assignment I had written forever ago for my English course. I can't recall it quite exactly, but we had to write to our future child for their 18th birthday on our concept of success. It was one of those assignments that really made you analyze yourself for a little bit, made you ponder about everything you're about to write down. It was an assignment that caused me to reflect on myself and my abilities, which I really enjoyed because it opened my eyes to personal improvement - and there is always room for improvement!
So without further ado, here it is!

Dear Parker,

 You've now reached a point in your life where you are going to start to make decisions that will affect you in the long run. You have grown mentally and emotionally, matured graciously,  and it has now come upon you to think of the future and to fully understand how you are responsible for the type of future you can have. I've chosen to write this e-mail to you because as your mother, I am your example, I am your role model, and what you see me do, how I handle myself in life will reflect on how you do as well. With your 18th birthday being today, and with this year being your last year of high school, I know now would be a more than perfect time to share with you my beliefs on personal success. Personal success does not only refer to the financial, educational and social aspects of life, but also the emotional, familial and spiritual aspects of life as well. I believe that to be personally successful, you must first be 100 percent happy with yourself. What I mean by that is that you must be happy with what you've done in life. You must feel at peace with how you've treated others and how you've carried yourself. You must know that you've been honest in your doings, that you've been a humble individual, always had your priorities in order and tried your best against the obstacles you've had to face. I know that you are all those things, but I want to encourage you to always continue to be those things, because I guarantee you that you will be faced with events that can tempt you to become a non-honest person. You will encounter people that will have the ability to influence you negatively, but you must always stick to your morals and standards despite the pressure there is in this world today.

I know you love to spend time with your family, especially your grandparents and your cousins. The entire family can truly see how much you care about them and their well-beings. My mom never stops telling me how you're going to be such a family man and a wonderful father to your kids in the future time. I want you to know that you have the capacity to be an exemplary father to your future children, to teach them righteously and to never let them down, as you have never let me down. Family is the most important thing in life. They are the people you have been blessed with to be biologically connected to forever. They are the group of people that will never fail you. They may anger you, disappoint you, make you upset, test you and it is more than likely that they will, but when it comes down to it, they will be there for you up front and center. I wish for you to never isolate yourself from them, or your father and I, to always keep us up-to-date and let us know how you're doing. Family is the internal force that will support you, guide you and love you unconditionally. Along with family, comes the spiritual aspect of life. Being that we are Mormons, I know that for me, being personally successful includes exceeding in my religion. I never cease to try to improve in my knowledge of the scriptures, to stay constant in saying my prayers, to regularly attend church and be an example for the people around me. Where I stand with my religion hugely impacts my life in general. I know I never want to just be stable in my knowledge and in my own personal salvation in the church, I always want to strive to be better and improve in that part of my life.

Of course, being financially successful is a component in being personally successful. I can't imagine myself not being pleased with myself if I didn't have a career, because without no career, I wouldn't be able to provide for my family, much less, myself. Having a career is not exactly about the money, but it also has to do with the fact that it shows that you did something with your life. Having a career shows that you've made something of yourself. That's where education comes in. That's why I urge you to continuously work hard to achieve the best result you possibly can when it comes to getting an education. I know in university you will be presented with time to slack, to party and just go crazy, but you must stay focused. I advise you to choose a career that will make you happy. Don't do it for the money, do it because you like to do it. I chose my career because I love to help people. I love listening to people, being that outlet for them. I so enjoy knowing that I can be someone to count on, to depend on. Someone that can help others see different solutions. Knowing that what I do makes a difference in people's lives makes it all worth it. I think of you and I know you are such a social butterfly and you have so many friends that I am sure you will have a very busy social life. This is why balance is key. Balance out your life between friends, family, school and church. I know with balance you can have a successful life.

Being personally successful takes work. It doesn't just come to you. You can't just make a wish upon a well and it'll happen. You have to work for your happiness. You have to endure obstacles, move on, gain knowledge, learn from experiences and try your best in all that you do. You have to be persistent, determined, strong, brave, accountable, innovative, honest, loyal, observant, caring, patient and so much more. If you don't acquire those qualities now, they will develop as you live your life. I know from experience that personal success is worth all the trouble you go through, it is worth the fight, just like your dreams are. Don't ever give up on your dreams.

Your great grandmother fought very hard to be where she is today. She was a single mom, she raised three rapidly growing boys all on her own. She raised them in a time where the world was very sexist. Women weren't treated equally in her time. Men were very chauvinist. She didn't have a very supportive husband. She had to play the father role as well. Not only did she provide for her children, she was also a housewife.  She raised her kids to become grown, honest men. Although she had a brain stroke, and she can't recognize any of us, she is at peace. You can tell by looking at her face and her presence that she is calm and happy. She raised good children, good workers and good fathers for their children. I admire her for that. I think my grandmother is a swell example of what it means to be personally successful. She may be in a state right now where she is like a child again, but I know deep down she knows that her sons are doing well in life and that she did an excellent job in being an admirable mother to them.

I wish the best for you Parker, I really do. You are my only son and I love you so much. Soon you will go off into the world and spread your wings. In a way, you will take the position I've had all these years. Soon, you'll be the one taking care of yourself, making sure you eat healthy, taking care of yourself when you're sick, doing your own laundry, dropping yourself off at school and all the other things I've done for you. I will always be here for you. If you ever need anything don't be proud like your father, and just ask. I'm only a call or drive away.

Well, my lunch break is almost ever and this e-mail is longer than I expected but I just want to finish with this: I want the best for you in life. I want you to be successful in all areas. Beginning with being happy with yourself and your doings. I want you to try to think tonight before you go to bed, "Am I glad with what I did today?" Life is short, honey. It is too short to be wasting time on treating others unfairly, to be bitter, to sit around and waste time instead of getting what you want yourself. Life indeed is not long enough to contemplate on what you want, because too much contemplating will let all the opportunities that are presented to you slip away. Fortunately, life is long enough to be a child and be spoiled by your parents, to grow into a young adult and make choices in life that can positively affect you, to go to school and get that degree, to find somebody you undeniably love and put a ring on their finger, to have kids and teach them what you know is right and hope that as a parent, your children achieve all their goals in life and for them to be happy. That is what I wish for you.

 

Happy birthday, Sweetie.

Love,

 Mom