Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin taught: "The Lord did not people the earth with a vibrant orchestra of personalities only to value the piccolos of the world. Every instrument is precious and adds to the complex beauty of the symphony. All of Heavenly Father's children are different in some degree, yet each has his own beautiful sound that adds depth and richness to the whole" (2008, p.18). Relating this to the topic at hand, it indicates that although men and women carry their differences, one gender is not above or lower than the other. Each puts forth valuable contributions to the whole (in this case, the family).
The story of our first parents furthers our understanding. Elder Earl C. Tingey once said: "You must not misunderstand what the Lord meant when Adam was told he was to have a helpmeet. A helpmeet is a companion suited to or equal to us. We walk side by side with a helpmeet, not one before or behind the other. A helpmeet results in an absolute equal partnership between a husband and a wife. Ebe was to be equal to Adam as a husband and wife are to be equal to each other" (2008, n.p.).
Elder Bruce C. Hafen, and his wife Marie explained: "Genesis 3:16 states that Adam is to "rule over" Eve, but this doesn't make Adam a dictator ... Over in "rule over" uses the Hebrew bet, which means ruling with, not ruling over ... The concept of interdependent equal partners is well-grounded in the doctrine of the restored gospel. Eve was Adam's 'help meet". The original Hebrew for meet means that Eve was adequate for, or equal to, Adam, she wasn't his servant or his subordinate" (2007, p. 27). Adam and Eve were to hearken unto one another. Men and women in families are to hearken unto one another in order for the plan of happiness to work.
In Successful Marriages and Families, we read of the essential relationship between equality and love, the kind of love the Savior and our Heavenly Father have for us. Although we are not their equals, "God ultimately hopes, plans and acts to create a path for his children to become as He is". This means that He hopes we will become His equals. Those that hold healthy parental love will do what they can so that their children and those that they love will one day stand as their equals, too.
Equal partnership also pertains to family responsibilities. President Boyd K. Packer (1989, p.75) has said, "There is no task, however menial, connected with the care of babies, the nurturing of children, or with the maintenance of the home that is not the husband's equal obligation". In Successful Marriages, it highlights that women do the same, indirectly or directly, in assisting their husbands with the burdens of supporting a family Being equal in partnership does not just refer to duties in the home, but also equal support in aspirations and dreams.
Successful Marriages and Families highlights that the benefits of couples that have an equal partnership have "happier relationships, better individual well-being, more effective parenting practices and better-functioning children. Researchers have consistently found that couples who share power are more satisfied and have better marital quality than couples where one spouse dominates". This is due to the fact that couples in equal partnership have fewer negative interactions, and therefore, more positive interactions. This also diminishes temptations for verbal and physical aggression. Equal partnership between husbands and wives positively affects parenting. This makes parents more prone to working as a team versus working separately.
As a Latter Day Saint, I affirm with surety that equal partnership in a marriage is a commandment. To my lovely readers, I invite you to partake of this assessment that analyzes power in relationships. As you gain answers from this assessment, act to ensure that equal partnership is an active element in your marriage.
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