They Cannot Be Lost: Temple Covenants Save Lives

    Temple ordinances and the Atonement of our Savior Christ have the power to save children. 

    Successful Marriages & Families allows us to explore the prophetic promises made to faithful parents that are challenged with straying children. In Successful Marriages & Families, it states, "Thankfully, latter-day prophets and apostles assure us that the Atonement and sealing ordinances are sufficiently powerful to eventually bring salvation to the children of parents who diligently seek to keep their temple covenants. The Prophet Joseph Smith promised that "when a seal is put upon the father and mother, it secures their posterity, so that they cannot be lost, but will be saved by virtue of the covenant of their father and mother" (1976, p.321)". It continues by stressing that God, our Father in Heaven that loves us so infinitely, is the one that judges the ultimate reward of those that deviate from holding onto the iron rod. 

    The Atonement can save our spirits as it is both infinite and eternal. We learn of this in Alma 34:10, 14. "There is no limit to it's capacity to cover sins of every type, severity, and frequency". It is effective in this life and the next. We have been warned that intentionally putting off our repentance is disobedient and puts one's individual reward at risk of not being received. 

  In the scriptures, Mosiah 3:19, D&C 121: 141-142 counsel in favor of warm emotions, such as patience, love unfeigned, and long-suffering. At the same time, the scriptures warn against anger, hate, resentment, envy and jealousy. Nurturing those warm emotions will aid family members in managing the tribulations they face when parenting and loving children that choose to go astray. 

    Successful Marriages & Families highlight the commands in The Family: A Proclamation to The World. "Love is virtually commanded and tied to moral commitment and obligation, even toward family members who seem committed to breaking God's commandments". The commands in the Proclamation are clear. "Husband and wife have the solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children" ... and "parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness ... to teach them to love and serve one another". 

    President Boyd K. Packer elaborated on the binding power of the sealing ordinance in a 2018 Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting: "Now, sometimes there are those that are lost. We have the promise of the prophets that they are not lost permanently, that if they are sealed in the temple ordinances, and if they covenants are kept by the parents, in due time, after all the correction that's necessary to be given, that they will not be lost". President Joseph Fielding Smith once declared that "those born under the covenant, throughout all eternity, are the children of their parents. Nothing except the unquestionable sin, or sin unto death, can break this tie."

    Sacred covenants that are made in the temple and honored wherever we go, are ways provided by God so that His promises can be kept. As a parent, you are assured that as long as you righteously do all that you can, you can leave the timing of your child's commitment and acceptance of the gospel to the Lord. As individuals and as families, we can progress "through righteous participation and commitment to covenants ... These covenants are the Lord's way of giving us far more than is asked in return. Through covenants we partake of the mercy of a loving God, willing to bring us back into His presence if we do our comparatively small part." (Successful Marriages and Families). 

    I desire that Elder D. Todd Christofferson's message may echo in your hearts: "I urge each one to qualify for and receive all the priesthood ordinances you can and then faithfully keep the promises you have made by the covenant. In times of distress, let your covenants be paramount and let your obedience be exact. Then you can ask in faith, nothing wavering, according to your need, and God will answer. He will sustain you as you work and watch. In His own time and way He will stretch forth his hand to you, saying, Here am I (2009, p.22)". 

Equal Partnership Between Men & Women In Families

    In today's post, we will be looking at equal partnership between men & women in families. 

    Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin taught: "The Lord did not people the earth with a vibrant orchestra of personalities only to value the piccolos of the world. Every instrument is precious and adds to the complex beauty of the symphony. All of Heavenly Father's children are different in some degree, yet each has his own beautiful sound that adds depth and richness to the whole" (2008, p.18). Relating this to the topic at hand, it indicates that although men and women carry their differences, one gender is not above or lower than the other. Each puts forth valuable contributions to the whole (in this case, the family). 

    The story of our first parents furthers our understanding. Elder Earl C. Tingey once said: "You must not misunderstand what the Lord meant when Adam was told he was to have a helpmeet. A helpmeet is a companion suited to or equal to us. We walk side by side with a helpmeet, not one before or behind the other. A helpmeet results in an absolute equal partnership between a husband and a wife. Ebe was to be equal to Adam as a husband and wife are to be equal to each other" (2008, n.p.). 

    Elder Bruce C. Hafen, and his wife Marie explained: "Genesis 3:16 states that Adam is to "rule over" Eve, but this doesn't make Adam a dictator ... Over in "rule over" uses the Hebrew bet, which means ruling with, not ruling over ... The concept of interdependent equal partners is well-grounded in the doctrine of the restored gospel. Eve was Adam's 'help meet". The original Hebrew for meet means that Eve was adequate for, or equal to, Adam, she wasn't his servant or his subordinate" (2007, p. 27). Adam and Eve were to hearken unto one another. Men and women in families are to hearken unto one another in order for the plan of happiness to work. 

    In Successful Marriages and Families, we read of the essential relationship between equality and love, the kind of love the Savior and our Heavenly Father have for us. Although we are not their equals, "God ultimately hopes, plans and acts to create a path for his children to become as He is". This means that He hopes we will become His equals. Those that hold healthy parental love will do what they can so that their children and those that they love will one day stand as their equals, too. 

    Equal partnership also pertains to family responsibilities. President Boyd K. Packer (1989, p.75) has said, "There is no task, however menial, connected with the care of babies, the nurturing of children, or with the maintenance of the home that is not the husband's equal obligation". In Successful Marriages, it highlights that women do the same, indirectly or directly, in assisting their husbands with the burdens of supporting a family Being equal in partnership does not just refer to duties in the home, but also equal support in aspirations and dreams. 

    Successful Marriages and Families highlights that the benefits of couples that have an equal partnership have "happier relationships, better individual well-being, more effective parenting practices and better-functioning children. Researchers have consistently found that couples who share power are more satisfied and have better marital quality than couples where one spouse dominates". This is due to the fact that couples in equal partnership have fewer negative interactions, and therefore, more positive interactions. This also diminishes temptations for verbal and physical aggression. Equal partnership between husbands and wives positively affects parenting. This makes parents more prone to working as a team versus working separately. 

    As a Latter Day Saint, I affirm with surety that equal partnership in a marriage is a commandment.  To my lovely readers, I invite you to partake of this assessment that analyzes power in relationships. As you gain answers from this assessment, act to ensure that equal partnership is an active element in your marriage. 

    

Parenting With Love, Limits, and Latitude

     I'd like to begin with a quote by Elder Bruce R. McConkie (1970, vol. 1, p.23). He stated, "Being sbject to law, and having their agency, all spirits of men, while in the Eternal Presence, developed aptitudes, talents, capacities, and abilities of every sort, kind and degree. During the long expanse of life which then was, an infinite variety of talents and abilities came into being". 

    From this teaching, we can derive that the way we interact with and react to our earthly experiences is surely influenced by our spiritual identity and gifts that were nurtured in the pre-existence. At the same time, many interests, qualities and behaviors also stem from biological influences of the parents.

     "These characteristics include tendencies towards inhibition or shyness, sociability, impulsiveness and "thrill-seeking" activity level, aggression, cognition and language acuity, behavior problems, emotionality, and religiosity (Borstein & Lamb, 2011; Hart et al., 2003; Eisenberg, 2006; Kuczynski, 2003, and Smith & Hart, 2011). President James. E Faust (1990) shared, "Child rearing is so individualistic. Every child is different and unique. What works with one may not work with another". In order to rear our children in love and righteousness, we must focus on the gospel principle we learn of in the Family Proclamation, as well as "love, teach and guide them with an emphasis on teaching and preparing children rather than unrighteously controlling their wills" (Successful Marriages & Family). Dr. Glenn Latham expresses that any use of coercion, "to compel others to act or choose in a certain way ... to nullify individual will", "creates the image of expediency and efficiency, but it is only an image". 

    Some ways in which we can raise our children in love and righteousness are (Successful Marriages & Families):

• Love, warmth & support 
• Clear & reasonable expectations for competent behavior 
• Limits & boundaries with some room for negotiation and compromise
• Reasoning & developmentally appropriate consequences and punishments for breaching established limits
• Opportunities to perform competently and make choices
• Absence of coercive, hostile forms of discipline, such as harsh physical punishment, love withdrawal, shaming and inflicting guilt
• Models of appropriate behavior consistent with self-control, positive values and attitudes 

    These examples model the most favorable parenting style: authoritative parenting. 

    "Children and adolescents reared by authoritative parents tend to be better adjusted to school; are less aggressive and delinquent; are less likely to abuse drugs; are more friendly and accepted by peers; are more communicative, self-motivated, and academically inclined; and are more willing to abide by laws. They are also more capable of moral reasoning and are more self-controlled" (Hart et al., 2003).

 

    To parent with love, we learn from Elder M. Russell Ballard (2003, p.6) that as parents, we must spend quality and quantity time with our children in order to nurture them properly. President Ezra Taft Benson (1990, p.32) counselled parents to "take time to be a real friend to your children". He encourages us to talk, laugh, joke, sing, play, cry, laugh, hug and honestly praise them. 

 

    Parenting with limits requires "discipline or correction to be motivated by a sincere interest in teaching children correct principles rather than merely to exert control, exercise dominion or vent anger ... authoritative parents are confrontive by proactively explaining reasons for setting rules and by administering corrective measures promptly when children do not abide by the rules (Successful Marriages & Families).

 

    Elder M. Russell Ballard (2003, p.8) declares that parenting with latitude involves "helping children learn how to make decisions which require that parents give them a measure of autonomy, dependent on the age and maturity of the child and the situation at hand. Parents need to give children choices and should be prepared to appropriately adjust some rules, thus preparing children for real-world situation". 

 

    I would like to conclude with this truth: "Living in harmony with proclamation principles maximizes the possibilities that children will make choices that help them return to the presence of God" (Successful Marriages & Families).