When you felt it for the first time, did you know that was it? Did love hit you like a bullet, effortlessly yet so blunt? Did it hurt? Were you scared? Did you welcome it? Or did you neglect it?
I remember for me, it was like a soft passing. It was a feeling similar to the one where you find this really great song, not a super upbeat one, but those soft and gentle songs that make you feel like you're riding on a wave. For me it as an instant of realization and acceptance, which if you know me at all, it takes me ages to even admit to myself, let alone to the world, that I like a guy. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's my desire to be sure of things, or to truly know who I'm going to spend my thoughts on or possibly let into my heart. I've never had a fear of rejection, but perhaps a fear of not knowing. Which, I guess might sound like a scribble of confusion. I'm all for surprises, I like that within the future lies the unknown, but when it comes to this girl's ticker, I just don't like to be on the edge. Perhaps it's the fact that I don't normally let anyone in (more like ever), that I really want to triple-check before I open the door to my very core. Being completely raw is a frightening thought. You're exposed. Every bit of you, every window, door and hidden compartment in your mind is free for interrogation, free to either embrace or totally just mess with. There's so much more to being physical when you love someone - I feel like this is a contemporary issue. Love is so beyond what you see. You don't just skim the surface of someone you love. You don't just know that one look, or their family members' names, or their favourite color and where they grew up. I think, and I know this because I've lived it, when you love someone, you know every gesture. You know how their eyes bright up when they're happy, and you can tell just by looking at them when the person you love is sad. You know their childhood stories, you know their ambitions and dreams, you know their parents' names, birthdays, how they met, how they compliment each other. You know that person's thoughts and you know their imperfections. You love them with imperfections, not in spite of them. You support them, tolerate them and by their tone of voice and way of expression know when they're mad, about to joke, excited, or whatever mood they may be in. You know just how much they miss you or need you by the strength of the squeeze from them holding your hand. When you love someone, you can feel how they are, content or in need of motivation, because somehow, from the unexpected journey of friendship to what you are now, you fell for that for that person. And I don't mean "fell" like you see in the movies, so mystical and magical, because laughing about it, we all know love isn't perfect. I don't think it ever was meant to be. Love is growth, in unison. Love for sure is patience. Love is having found yourself. I guess that's why the cheesy "you complete me", "you're my other half" lines exist. That makes sense now. Now ask yourself, how can you know so much about a person? In the most simple yet honest way? How? Because you love them - and when you love someone, knowing them from the inside out just comes naturally. All that in itself is incredible - when you discover not that love existing between two people makes everything magically okay, but that love is magic. It's kind of like the fairy dust the kids use in Peter Pan, have you seen that movie? It's like the dust that makes you fly. But, you can't fly if you don't believe. Loving someone and discovering that love is real, it's not just a myth, and you can just love one person for an eternity, is something every human being on this earth will discover and feel, in this life or the one that awaits us. There is no one singular way that one can confirm that what you feel for a person you've been with is love, there's just something inside you that will click and with a smile on your love struck face, you'll know. Realizing you love another human being for all that they are will hit you just as hard when you realize that someone out there loves you for all that you are - you. The crazy, noble, indecisive, funny, stubborn, music loving you.
I remember for me, it was like a soft passing. It was a feeling similar to the one where you find this really great song, not a super upbeat one, but those soft and gentle songs that make you feel like you're riding on a wave. For me it as an instant of realization and acceptance, which if you know me at all, it takes me ages to even admit to myself, let alone to the world, that I like a guy. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's my desire to be sure of things, or to truly know who I'm going to spend my thoughts on or possibly let into my heart. I've never had a fear of rejection, but perhaps a fear of not knowing. Which, I guess might sound like a scribble of confusion. I'm all for surprises, I like that within the future lies the unknown, but when it comes to this girl's ticker, I just don't like to be on the edge. Perhaps it's the fact that I don't normally let anyone in (more like ever), that I really want to triple-check before I open the door to my very core. Being completely raw is a frightening thought. You're exposed. Every bit of you, every window, door and hidden compartment in your mind is free for interrogation, free to either embrace or totally just mess with. There's so much more to being physical when you love someone - I feel like this is a contemporary issue. Love is so beyond what you see. You don't just skim the surface of someone you love. You don't just know that one look, or their family members' names, or their favourite color and where they grew up. I think, and I know this because I've lived it, when you love someone, you know every gesture. You know how their eyes bright up when they're happy, and you can tell just by looking at them when the person you love is sad. You know their childhood stories, you know their ambitions and dreams, you know their parents' names, birthdays, how they met, how they compliment each other. You know that person's thoughts and you know their imperfections. You love them with imperfections, not in spite of them. You support them, tolerate them and by their tone of voice and way of expression know when they're mad, about to joke, excited, or whatever mood they may be in. You know just how much they miss you or need you by the strength of the squeeze from them holding your hand. When you love someone, you can feel how they are, content or in need of motivation, because somehow, from the unexpected journey of friendship to what you are now, you fell for that for that person. And I don't mean "fell" like you see in the movies, so mystical and magical, because laughing about it, we all know love isn't perfect. I don't think it ever was meant to be. Love is growth, in unison. Love for sure is patience. Love is having found yourself. I guess that's why the cheesy "you complete me", "you're my other half" lines exist. That makes sense now. Now ask yourself, how can you know so much about a person? In the most simple yet honest way? How? Because you love them - and when you love someone, knowing them from the inside out just comes naturally. All that in itself is incredible - when you discover not that love existing between two people makes everything magically okay, but that love is magic. It's kind of like the fairy dust the kids use in Peter Pan, have you seen that movie? It's like the dust that makes you fly. But, you can't fly if you don't believe. Loving someone and discovering that love is real, it's not just a myth, and you can just love one person for an eternity, is something every human being on this earth will discover and feel, in this life or the one that awaits us. There is no one singular way that one can confirm that what you feel for a person you've been with is love, there's just something inside you that will click and with a smile on your love struck face, you'll know. Realizing you love another human being for all that they are will hit you just as hard when you realize that someone out there loves you for all that you are - you. The crazy, noble, indecisive, funny, stubborn, music loving you.
